still-single:

Just like how bubonic plague resurfaces every few years to kill a few unlucky people, only to grow dormant again, some folks think that a perfectly lucid way to spend their time would be to start a new glam band. I don’t think it’s a case of glam being resilient but I do think that there are a lot of unoriginal assholes cluttering up what would otherwise be a pretty nice cosmos. As for Mickey’s turn in the bucket – it’s hard for me to imagine music worse than this: Maybe (maybe) if I was wealthy and had billions upon billions of dollars at my disposal, I could hire hundreds of Ph.D’s in lab coats, working around the clock with flow charts and Tesla coils, toiling for decades in the spirit of spitting-on-your-hands-and-doing-it-for-America, coupled with the finely-tuned logistics and resources of something approaching the Manhattan Project, all working for one united goal: to make a record sucks more than Rock ‘n’ Roll Dreamer, it still might fall short. But I’ll save everyone’s time: these clowns tried for hooky and catchy, but ended up with something insipid and annoying. Its songs go beyond boring into painfully playacted, irritating and arch. Imagine being invited to a party, and when you get there, you’re stripped naked and thrown into a pit of Fiberglass insulation. That’s what listening to this band is like.

And hey: I like glam rock. I even watched Born To Boogie with minimal fast forwarding, but this reminds me of those metal bands that were influenced by punk and glam but ended up being those Sunset Strip atrocities. I figure this is exactly the record these creeps wanted to make: criminally stupid lyrics, a cover that looks like an eighth grader with a wisp of a moustache and a denim vest drew on his Trapper Keeper, and a general aura of stunted development. It you like your music sans intellect, cleverness, ambition, without even the most basic interesting or novel elements, and/or get your nostalgia receptors tickled at the thought of the Rainbo’s jukebox in 1984, then this record might be for you. You deserve each other.